


Kith and Kin

by runicmagitek



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Memories, Mid-Canon, Mild Horror, Missing Scene, The Successor Challenge, time compression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 14:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20098351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runicmagitek/pseuds/runicmagitek
Summary: Zell made a promise to his allies before stepping into the future. Now that he is lost in time compression, he tries to remember what that promise was.





	Kith and Kin

He didn’t know what to expect. Then again, none of them did. Taking a joy ride to the future to end an evil sorceress’ ploys wasn’t on any of their to-do lists when signing up for SeeD. Confronting Ultimecia? That much Zell was prepared for. Beyond that? No amount of preparation secured confidence within him.

And when the vivid lights encompassing Ultimecia in her defeat faded to darkness—as did everyone else—Zell whipped around, panic swelling in his eyes with every word drying up in his throat.

_Where the hell is everyone?!_ He bolted through nothingness. _What is__… this?_ He skidded to a stop and examined the premise. Not a speck of light glimmered in the abyss. He swallowed hard—was this time compression? Had they failed to undo it? An abrupt sigh rushed out of him. _We promised to stick together. No one left behind and all that. We__’ll get out of this and be okay._

Yet his limbs quivered when he forced himself to move again. _We have to be okay. There__’s no other option, yeah?_

What was the plan, anyways? Something about remembering each other? Shit, he couldn’t remember what he had for breakfast, let alone whose idea that even was. Probably Selphie—it sounded like something she would say.

Selphie… that was… who was that again?

Zell growled and smacked his temples. _C__’mon, Dincht! Keep it together! Everyone’s counting on you! _

Everyone and no one. Who was left to recall him when his mind shunned him?

Perhaps the guardian forces they linked to were to blame. Maybe if he didn’t have to rely on them, he would have aced more tests or made it to the cafeteria in time for those elusive hot dogs. Small things, all of which surfaced in his muddy mind and yet he couldn’t remember the names of those who accompanied him, spirited away to the future.

_I need to get back,_ Zell repeated to himself despite his stride shortening to a shuffle. _If I don__’t make it, then they won’t either. I need to— _He almost tripped, something catching his foot. A curse skittered on his tongue. He hopped along before regaining balance, eyes darting to the floor. Only shadows.

Zell paused, huffed, and hunched forward. _What__’s the point, anymore?_

A soft sound thrummed in the space. He mistook it for his mental ambiance. Then it crawled closer, clearer.

It carried his name, loud enough to rattle his skull though with the quality of a whisper.

Hitching his breath, Zell pivoted on his heels, raised his fists, and froze.

The light nearly blinded him. Muted tones flooded the area and gave way to a room. Familiar posters and displays lined the walls. An unmade bed sat in a corner with a trail of dirty laundry littering the floor.

_This__… this is—_ His eyes widened and lips parted. _This is my_—

That sound echoed—someone calling for him. Other noises filtered in from the distance lull of the ocean to wind chimes by an open window to the sizzle in a kitchen. It enveloped Zell until he no longer heard his pulse.

_I made it,_ he thought. _This is home __and that’s—_

“Ma?” Zell called out.

Nothing at first. Then those words repeated: “Zell, come on down!”

He sprinted for the door and jumped down every other step on the stairs. Homemade fish chowder marked the air against the fresh scent of yeast and butter. This was real: the wooden floorboards groaning beneath his feet, the lamps nestled in mosaic shades resembling beach glass, the rich tone in his mother’s voice. He made it; he was home.

And he reached the bottom step, turned a corner into a kitchen, and almost choked on his racing heart.

Nothing was there. Not the scrumptious meal nor the warm comfort of his mother. Frantic eyes tore through the area.

“Ma?!” he called out, panic coating his tongue with each yelp. “Ma, where are you?!” Zell collided with a chair as he combed the house. “Ma, please, just let me know you’re here!”

He peeked out a window. Only an ocean breeze rolled through the streets of Balamb. Zell emerged outside with a stumble.

“Ma?!”

A stormy sky loomed above. An ocean crashed into jagged rocks. He furrowed his brow and eyed the ocean. _But the Balamb coastline isn__’t like this—_

A child screamed and a sadistic laugh followed. Holding his breath, he peered back and witnessed memories he wished the guardian forces locked away.

Balamb was a distant blur in comparison to the shoreline he stood on now. The orphanage overlooked the ocean upon a cliff, several kids straying from the pack to play along the rocks. But one of them shoved a smaller kid down, pelting him with pebbles whenever the little one tried to get up.

Then he gave up and curled up on the ground, clutching his head and sobbing. “Leave me alone, Seifer!”

That cackle elicited chills in Zell. “And what are you going to do about it?” He mocked sobs in between his amusement. “You’re never going to grow up! You’re still a crybaby! That’s all you’ll ever be!”

“No, I’m not!”

“Are too!” Seifer kicked dirt into his face. “You’re just going to be stuck here forever and no one will want to be your mommy or daddy.”

Zell clenched his jaw and fists while reliving his childhood from a new perspective. “Shut up,” he growled.

Seifer laughed again. “You won’t have anyone to run and cry to!”

“Shut _up_!” both Zell and his younger counterpart screamed.

He gained momentum, rushing towards the phantom of the bully who haunted him. Tears blurred his vision, though he never lost sight of that blond punk needing a taste of his own damned medicine.

Zell hissed in air and reeled a fist back. Hovering above both the kids, he launched forward with a scream.

Then that snide smirk met him. “You never will have anyone to go to—you don’t _exist_, Zell.”

A chill skittered up his spine. His fist caught nothing, swiping through that child’s face and smudging it. Wide cyan eyes focused on Zell as the face distorted and seeped away. Everything did. Colors drifted like smoke billowing from a dying fire. But that voice? It simply festered within Zell.

“_You__’re worthless._”

“_You__’re a pathetic excuse of a man._”

“_You__’ll never amount to anything._”

“Shut up!” Zell dropped to his knees and punched the ground.

“_No one will remember you._”

“_They__’ve already forgotten you._”

Tears cascaded from his chin. Fingers curled into the black earth. Sitting on his heels, Zell jerked his head back and screamed for no one to hear.

_This isn__’t real,_ he tried to convince himself. _This is something else__… like the bad shit I’ve endured hope to never experience. This isn’t where I’m supposed to be._

He coughed up a sob, clung to his head, and doubled over. _Where the hell _am_ I supposed to be?_

Memories waned as he dug deep into shallow memory banks. Years overlapped as prized moments bled with anxieties and dread. There was someplace where he belonged amongst that storm and someone was waiting for him there.

Someone who didn’t care if he was a failure or not.

He gripped his hair and tugged, as if the action would clear the fog settling into his mind. What was he supposed to do? How could any of them overcome this predicament after the final battle? They promised to hold and remember, but—

_Wait._

_Them._

_Who is that?_

Zell peeked through his fingers and found darkness. Sinister whispers seduced him to yield and surrender. He trembled and wrapped his arms around himself.

_I came here__… with others._ Zell furrowed his brow. _They must__’ve trusted me, right? No one would have come this far with me if I was just dead weight._

_I__… I don’t want to be that. I want to help. I need to protect those who need it, who can’t do it themselves… just like when I was a_—

The fog scattered. He gasped. Vibrant images flooded his memory.

A young kid pushed himself off the ground, bruised and dirty. He sniffled and faced another group of kids with his fists up.

“_What are you going to do?_” a voice echoed in Zell. “_Can__’t even swat flies with a pose like that._”

“I don’t _want_ to hit you!” the kid cried in reply, anger twisting his sadness. “I don’t want to hurt _anyone_! I just want bullies like you to leave me and everyone else alone!”

The tears and scrapped skin vanished from the kid, replaced with a beaming smile. He hopped down a set of stairs and peeked past a corner. A woman hummed to herself by a stove. She hissed abruptly, cutting her melody short. As for the kid, he gasped and bounded towards her.

“Mama! Mama!” He tugged her apron. “What’s wrong?! Are you okay?!”

She ran warm water over her hand and smiled at him. “Just burned myself, sweetie. It’s alright.”

He pouted and clung to her leg. “But I don’t want you getting hurt!”

“It’s alright. I’ll just be careful next time.”

But he shook his head and squeezed tighter. “But what if I’m not there to protect you?”

“Oh, sweetie.” She dried off her hand and bent down to scoop him into her arms. “You’ll always be here, even when you’re not.”

“But how, Mama?”

“You want to help everyone. How could anyone forget a kind heart like that?” She peeked over his shoulder and stared at Zell. “It’s alright. You’ll know how.”

Zell blinked and staggered. “W-what—”

The building exploded. Fire licked his cheeks as debris scattered in the air. Collapsing to the floor, Zell groaned and rubbed his head. Smoke and dust burned his eyes.

It wasn’t until the crunch of heavy machinery disrupting the ground that he recognized the area.

Metal scrapped brick and stone. A child cried and a dog whined. Someone barked orders in the distance, all whisked away by the breeze escaping down the tight streets without a care. Zell stared at the spider-esque contraption struggling to squeeze through Dollet. One mechanical limb punctured a building in its path. Another cry, another whine. His heart skipped, yet the new onset of fear did little to motivate him to flee.

“Zell!”

He ripped his sights from the enemy to check behind him. At the end of the narrow street stood two figures, donning a similar outfit to himself. One bounced in place and waved. That… that was… who was she again? The new girl, right?

“Zell, we need to go!” she called out.

The guy beside her, someone close to his age, crossed his arms and looked elsewhere. If Zell hadn’t known better, the guy was rolling his eyes. “He’s not coming,” he said to his ally. “Let’s go. We can leave him behind. He was dead weight—”

An explosion cut off the remainder. Zell ducked for cover and hissed as chipped cobblestone cut his uniform and slashed his skin. Once the rain of debris settled, Zell stared at its origin; the mechanical monstrosity inched closer, step-by-step. Its gears wheezed and clanked with each constricted motion, heading straight for Zell.

That cry caught his attention. In a nearby doorway, a mother and her child huddled together. She hushed and coddled the weeping child despite her own tears.

And then that pained bark. On the opposite end of the plaza, a lone dog paced the cramped space of an alcove. It eyed the machine and Zell, as if longing to escape and not knowing how.

These individuals… these _strangers_… they were helpless. Just like him.

Millions of whispers taunted him between the crevasses of his mind, plaguing him with reminders of his worthlessness. None would remember him, the pathetic excuse of a person. No one came to him when he cried and fled. Why was now any different?

Why would he start believing that he ever amounted to anything?

Zell froze. _No,_ he thought past the barrage of toxic voices. _That__’s not true._

He slammed a fist into the broken pavement and forced himself to stand. He hissed as pain quaked in his body. He narrowed his sights on the machine ambling his way.

The whispers amplified with each step; whispers gave way to spoken voices and eventually broke into shrieks. It was as if the entire universe berated him—a cacophony of negativity. It did little to sway Zell as he spat out a mouthful of blood and lifted his fists.

“Don’t you get it?” Zell shouted. “I don’t _give a shit_ if I’m worthless.” He cracked his knuckles and swept his right foot back, crouching into a defensive stance. “I’ll be the number one idiot—” Red lasers flicked about and centered on him. “—if it means protecting _them_.”

That girl screamed from behind. This time, he didn’t bother catching a word of what she said. Not when he evoked that spark which rejuvenated his purpose.

“So long as _I__’m_ still kicking?” Zell drew in a deep breath. “_No one_ is worthless!”

A metal limb pierced the air. Guns and rockets blared. The voices reached a deafening new volume. All fashioned for him and no one else.

It didn’t stop Zell from landing a punch.

His knuckles brushed with metal, the connection leaving a trail of sparks. Everything else shattered.

Myriads of glass shards cascaded around him, reflecting fragments of the nightmare torturing his soul. From the ground beneath him up to the dark skies—every last inch broke off and dissolved to dust. Even the noise in his head yielded to silence.

Zell fluttered his eyes and gasped. _What the— _

Light pierced the black nothingness and unraveled the heavens. A torrent of wind nearly knocked him to the ground, swirling flower petals in its wake. Zell lifted his arm to block out the sun.

He almost didn’t recognize the ebb and flow of the ocean surrounding him.

“Zell?”

He recognized that. Not just his name, but the _voice_.

Spinning in place, Zell focused on the person calling for him. He ignored the streets he grew up on and the scent of his favorite street snacks lingering elsewhere. What mattered was the woman calling for him and thus he sprinted for her.

They collided and embraced. They shared tears and laughter. Nothing hissed in his mind, nothing threatened to take away what he clung to. Even then, Zell couldn’t help but question the stability of this supposed reality.

“Ma?” He reeled back enough to scan her. “Is it really you?”

Blinking tears out of her eyes, she smiled and nodded. “Last I checked, anyways.”

* * *

He waited for the illusion to break. Every second left to his own devices, Zell held his breath and stared at the starry night. When would the darkness return? When would those dreadful noises claw through his brain? He shuddered at the mere idea—having this happily ever after torn from his heart.

Each instance of doubt was smothered by laughter. Familiar faces whizzed by him, the limited light splashing over their features before they retreated to either the dance floor or the buffet. Music accompanied the night and brought the promise of endless joy. Not as spectacular as the SeeD graduation ball, but close enough. It was something to remember after their efforts.

To remember…. He thought memories eluded him, but not anymore. People—_friends_—called for him and dove into tireless conversation. They remembered him when he forgot himself. They boasted of his ventures and actions as if his deeds were worthy of legends.

Zell grinned and puffed out his chest in those moments. Then they ran off and his pride simmered down. That slight tug at the corner of his lips never faded, though. This? This was real. This was what returned him from that hell hole of a downward spiral. The remnants of time compression still riddled his veins, but it was the reminder of what broke him free from its dreadful clutches which kept him from descending into that darkness once more.

It was the smiles of loved ones, those who couldn’t defend themselves for one reason or another—a familiar role at one point for him. Not anymore. He could stand up and fight for those who needed it the most, like the child he once was. That was all it took to ignite a spark which burned wilder than any recorded para-magic.

Zell leaned in his seat, crossed his legs, and absorbed the festivities into the night; _he_ helped secure this future.


End file.
